London Hypnotherapy|CBT|NLP Coaching

Archive for the ‘NLP Coaching’ Category

  "Remember that to change your mind and follow him who sets you right is to be none the less free than you were before." Marcus Aurelius To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment. Ralph Waldo Emerson

A dictionary definition of Ecology is "the relationship between organisms and their environment." This is a good concise definition but what does it mean to you if applied in the context of your own life and the context of other people? 

The concept of Ecology in NLP touches on some interesting nominalizations like self and other. 

Ecology in NLP can be described as the actions, behaviours and attitudes that are necessary to ensure your own continued personal well being so that you are emotionally, mentally and physically well.  Similarly if acting as an agent of change then by way of your actions, behaviours and attitudes with other human beings you ensure their continued personal well being.

 Influence or Manipulation?

People are attempting to influence us all of the time, in many contexts and situations.  From our parents when we were children to supermarket advertising trying to tempt us with pictures of delicious sun ripened apples to advertising painted on the sides of commercial vehicles. There are attempts to influence us all around. Some of these attempts use NLP patterns to, in my opinion unethically influence us, take a recent McDonalds advert – notice the embedded command.

‘If you don't want a hamburger have a salad'  

The advert shows a rather small dish of salad and a huge succulent hamburger with fresh crispy lettuce and sun ripened tomato. 

Notice the effect of reading the last paragraph, especially the words and contrast with an advert that simply shows a dish of salad and a hamburger.

A perceived truth, if there is such a thing, is that NLP can be manipulative.  The application of some NLP patterns can be used to manipulate people. Note that the NLP patterns in themselves are not manipulative but the person using the NLP process who attempts the manipulation.

Ethical influence is a personal choice and of course what each individual person regards as ethical can be an interesting subject to explore. If you're ethical (whatever that means) and you influence people that is fine. People may indeed want to be influenced and they may want to be influenced in such a way that they benefit from any interaction – this is called dovetailing outcomes.

Sales professionals attempt to influence in all of their interactions.  A customer may not know how much they can benefit from a new product. The influencing process of selling may be something like this…

• Create and maintain rapport
• Ethically introduce the new product and all of its benefits
• Gauge the person's level of interest
• If yes – more process until sale is agreed
• If no – leave and move on

Unethical manipulation would in this context be a continuing attempt to sell the new product after discovering the ‘client' has zero interest. Ecology is the best way to work out the process of helping someone obtain their goal. To check out if its right for them others and the world around them. Another important factor is to check if the change is right for all areas of their life. Is the change right in all environments, with all people etc. A boxer may want to be more aggressive but this would be better for all concerned if this was only in the appropriate context. When creating change I always check that it is ecological and only in relevant contexts.

More Articles:  NLP Coaching. Ecology Frame  Master NLP Coach This entry was posted on Wednesday, November 5th, 2008 and is filed under NLP Frames. 

Positive Intention Behind Every Behaviour Master NLP Coach

What Can NLP Coaching Do for Me?

A NLP Master coach will understand the model below, it is a wonderful way of explaining how the mind works. A NLP coach probably will not have time to explain it in detail when coaching, but this model hopefully will help you understand how the mind works.

The NLP Communications Model

It doesn’t matter who my father was; it matters who I remember he was. Anne Sexton (US Poet) .The external world is a world of information. Every moment we are bombarded with information coming through our senses of sight, hearing, touch, taste and smell. This sensory information is then sent to the brain, where it is subjected to a battery of computations in order for us to “make sense of” or “attach meaning to” the information we have just received.

Our senses are however limited in their ability to perceive what is actually out there. For example, our eyes cannot “perceive” light in the infra red or ultra violet spectra. Our ears cannot hear the same range of frequencies that a bats ear can hear – some of the sounds we know are out there we simply cannot hear. Our noses are not as sensitive as a dog ‘s nose. So, there is a wealth of information that we cannot perceive as our senses simply are not sensitive enough. Our ability to interact with the external world is also greatly influenced by our conscious abilities.

Every second we receive approximately 2.5 million bits of information through our senses. Obviously this is too much to mentally cope with from moment to moment.So we filter some of this information out by the processes of deletion, distortion and generalisation. From these 2.5 million bits, we consciously process only about 200 – 500 bits of this information, grouped into 7±2 chunks. The remaining 2.45 million bits of information we process at an unconscious level. All of this happens in a fraction of a second and it is also affected by things like our values, beliefs, past experiences, expectations, mood and physiology. It ‘s widely known that our retina has a blind spot although when actually looking at something we do not see a “blind spot” as our mind literally fills in the blanks with what it expects to see. When we cross the street, we don ‘t actually see the moving car as it is right now, we merely see where it was, and our brain assumes through computations where it is going to be right now. This means that we are constantly constructing reality around us, based on our beliefs and our assumptions. It means that every one of us will see and experience things differently. In NLP, the description of what goes on in your internal world when you interact with the external world is known as the communication model.
 

Not surprisingly, given such a mass of information, no two people ever have exactly the same map of any part of the external world. If fact, something as simple as a single word can be the basis for two quite separate maps!
 

F1 Transforms
The set of transformations that occur between the sensory receptors (e.g. your eyes) and cortex, to create the VAKOG representation you perceive at any given moment. The F1 processes are also influenced by filters created by conditioning (e.g. deeply held values, beliefs & primal meta programs etc.).
 

First Access
This is our first representation of the world. FA has been heavily transformed as a result of F1 transforms. The FA representation is sensory based only and does not have language attached. (E.g. it s being aware of the “sensation that I m spinning” before I ve had time to label it the sensation as “spinning.”
 

F2 Transforms
The process of coding (making sense of / attaching meaning to) the FA representation. We map the data at FA onto our internal maps (made up of internal pictures, sounds and feelings, and natural language hierarchies.) The F2 transforms are influenced by values, beliefs, metaprograms and memories (conscious and unconscious)
 

Linguistic Representation
This is the internal linguistic mental map which has been subject to F2 transforms and is presented using natural language. “Hey everybody … I m spinning!” In real life it goes like this. An image is perceived through my F1 Transforms (Eyes) and I become aware I am seeing something new (FA). This awareness is then coded so that I become aware that it is a picture of a man and that this man is my father.
 

Deletion, Generalisation and Distortion

It’s never too late to have a happy childhood.

An important way of making our communications more effective is by being aware of both the strengths and the limitations of our mental maps. In practice, our knowledge, on any subject you care to name will always be incomplete. Likewise, no matter how much care and thought we give it, we can never be totally accurate in our description of any person, thing, event, memory or whatever. As one writer put it:
Whatever we do or say, it is certain that we will be misunderstood – to some degree. Whatever we see or hear, it is certain we will misunderstand it – to some degree. We can never eliminate misunderstandings – but this should not deter us from striving to minimise them.
 

We start constructing mental maps more or less form the day we are born. It s how we store our life experience. Yet, as we grow into adulthood, some people make as few new maps as they can by filtering incoming information to such an extent that almost everything is forced to conform to their existing perceptions. Some people pretend to make fresh maps, though they are mainly transcribing their existing maps. And some people make new maps all through their lives.
 

There are several easons why a supply of new maps is desirable:

1. Maps are always based on a limited view of external reality, which is itself in a constant process of change.
2. Maps highlight some things and hide others.
3. Maps have an author, a point of view, a subject and a theme and are in the history they help to create
4. The longer we use any particular map, the harder it becomes to recognise its shortcomings.
5. The more familiar a map becomes, the harder it is to accept the validity of anybody elses map of the same territory .

It is important to remember that even the best map is only a very rough guide to the landscape it represents.

• A WORD
• A MAP
• A SYMBOL
• IS NOT
• The THING it describes
• The PLACE it depicts
• The THING it represents

Since every map is necessarily incomplete, whenever we create a new map we are forced to be selective about the information we include and exclude, a result usually arrived at by evaluating current information in the light of maps we have already prepared. We screen, edit and filter our maps using the processes of Deletion, Generalisation and Distortion.

Deletion
The first way in which the nervous system deals with a potential overload of information is to delete some of it. Although a lot of information enters your brain, you only pay conscious attention to some parts of that information and overlook or cut out all the other bits. Everything that is deleted falls outside your conscious awareness. In using language we often delete things by not referring to them or by not being specific about what we mean.
Examples – You discover a new food that you never knew existed before. Suddenly you begin to notice it whenever you go to the shops, even though you never seemed to notice it before. The things you ve deleted from your mind have always been there – you simply hadn t noticed them until you were reminded consciously to pay attention to them.
Why deletion is important – If it is true that what we focus on grows in our life, then when you decide you want something different, you can change what you are focusing on and what you delete. This will give you different results.
Suppose you are a woman who wants to be in a relationship but had previously ignored all men over 6 2 as “too tall” and under 5 7 as “too short” for you. By stopping deleting men over and under these heights and now focusing on them as well, you widen your options. Suppose you think you are poor at presentations. You might focus on the faces that look bored and only hear the negative comments at the end of your speech and not even notice the four smiling faces or comments of people who thought it actually had real merit!
Implications of deletion – issues arise when you don t realise you are deleting things and you delete something that would give you more choice in a particular situation – such as men over 6 2 and under 5 7.
 

Generalisation
When you generalise, you reduce the amount of information you need to deal with by labelling it and slotting it into a category or class (this means that!). This is a very useful ability! We learn by generalisation. We generalise from our experience. We respond to the present based on what we know from the past. We decide what works and what is good and bad based on our experiences. We use this to work out how most doors open (push handle down, lift handle up or turn it), we use it to gauge whether someone is being friendly or not (he’s holding a club, has an angry face and is running towards me … I think I’ll run!). We even learn maths by seeing some examples. We can then solve new math problems by our generalisations about the previous problems we have experienced.
Examples – You see an animal that looks like a cat. You ve seen a cat before so you have a word for it already. Your brain says “I know that animal, it s got a tail, fur, whiskers, 4 legs and makes a purring sound and is quite big.” And so it puts what you’ve seen into the category of “cat”. However, your brain also runs other categories as a potential alternatives like “is it a wild cat or a domestic cat?” And so the cat stays in the category cat until the moment it does something quite un-cat like such as bark like a dog, at which point you will have to reassess to broad conclusion you drew earlier.
Implications of generalisation – It s easy to see how useful it is to be able to categorise things. Imagine if you had to come up with a new word for every object or experience you had. However, this can also be somewhat limiting or dangerous too. It can make you rigid in your thinking and unprepared to notice exceptions to the rules. If you generalise a lot, you can eliminate choice and opportunity by assuming that a past experience will be repeated in the future. “People who look at me with that expression don’t like me … so I won t even bother giving them the time of day!” Once you begin to realise how much you generalise experiences, you can see the patterns in what you do and also notice new information you might have been ignoring. That will allow you to look at how useful your existing categories are.
 

Distortion
Distortion occurs when you take in information that has come through the senses and then draw a conclusion from it. For example, you may give it a particular interpretation, label or meaning. You may distort what you see, what you hear or what you feel. On a day-to-day level, when someone says something to you, you may distort it in your mind and remember having heard something different from what it was that they actually said!
Examples – You decide that a tightness in your chest is a heart attack when in fact it s merely heartburn. You see a piece of rope on the road and yell out “snake.” You re alone in a strange house and every sound like creaking; squeaking pipes become a burglar downstairs.
Implications of distortion – Distortion is a positive and necessary part of any creative or artistic process. For example, I can “get lost in a book” and imagine what that world is actually like.
The downside of distortion is that you may jump too readily to a conclusion that has a negative implication for you. For example, a man sees his wife talking with his best friend and immediately distorts their expressions so he thinks they “look guilty” and therefore must “have something to hide” because they “must be having an affair” when in fact they were discussing what birthday present to buy him.
The artist Pablo Picasso was travelling by train on a journey across Spain when he was recognized by one of his fellow passengers, a businessman who was used to getting his own way. After exchanging pleasantries, the man told Picasso that while he admired his success, he felt his paintings could be improved. “How so?” replied the bemused Picasso. “Well,” the man began, “Your paintings are too abstract – you should paint things more as they really are.” “Could you explain more specifically what you mean?” asked Picasso politely.
“Certainly!” the man replied, pulling a small photo from out of his briefcase. “Look at this photograph of my wife. This is how she actually looks – not some silly stylized representation.” Picasso studied the photograph carefully for a few moments and then asked “This is how your wife actually looks?”
The man nodded proudly. “She’s very small,” observed Picasso wryly.

NLP master coach will understand this and through coaching spot the limiting meanings that have been made so that the solutions can be found.

Focus Creation Cycle-  great video by Jamie Smart talking about this

>>>>>>>>Focus Creation Cycle 

In the depth of winter, I finally learned that there was within me an invincible summer.

Albert Camus

 What you focus on increases . Focus is a combination of thought and emotion. Whatever you think about – with a strong emotion – will increase in your experience over time. Want to increase your credit card debt? Just worry about it. The combination of thought and emotion contained in worry will increase the debt. Want to become slim, fit and healthy? Just imagine yourself being slim, fit and healthy, then feel how good you’ll feel when you’re there. Like magic, you’ll start to get slimmer. How does this work? The focus creation cycle

The Focus Creation Cycle

The focus creation cycle is a model of the way human beings bring things into their experience. It’s a process for manifesting what you desire and it goes like this

Focus  - what you focus on increases (over time). People often focus on what they don’t want rather than what they want. Guess what shows up?

Expectation – what the thinker thinks, the prover proves. Whatever you truly expect to show up in your reality (over time) is exactly what will show up. This is often referred to as ‘belief’. 

Filter – Our neurology filters out all data that doesn’t fit with what we believe. This helps us create a sense of consistency in a chaotic world. If you say “I can’t find my car keys” your neurology will delete them from your perception, even if they’re right there on the kitchen table.

Emotion – At this point we have an emotional response, a feeling. The feeling is either a nasty one (“Uuuurgh – I need to go to work & I can’t start my car”) or a nice one (“Oooooh! I knew this was going to work out brilliantly”).

Action - Emotions move us to action, and so we take actions in line with the emotions we feel and the things we believe. Of course, this means the actions we take support what we focus on. 

I used to dislike the question “Do you see the glass as half-full or half empty”, as I thought it was a tedious way of asking if a person was an optimist or a pessimist. But it turns out that it’s bigger than that. According to the way human neurology works, if you see the glass as half-empty, it gets emptier over time. If you see the glass as half-full, it gets fuller over time.

 What you focus on increases! The above process is the key to how you can bring whatever you desire into your life. The secret is to feel how you’ll feel when you’ve got what you want. We all have comfort zones, and they’re mediated by our feelings. Humans tend not to go very far outside their comfort zones if they can avoid it, but you can extend your comfort zone, by feeling how you’ll feel when you’ve got what you want. This way you become comfortable with the life you desire. Nature abhors a vacuum, so here comes the good stuff!

Problems versus Outcomes

“The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails.”

Unknown

In general our culture is more aligned towards problem solving. There is a bias in many aspects of our working, romantic, relationship and political lives which biases us towards looking for examples of what isn’t working.

The price we pay for this is often one of getting very skilled in not noticing what is working! People often comment on things that they don’t want in their lives. I remember talking to one person who was exceptionally skilled in identifying where his life was going wrong but did not have a clue as to what he wanted instead. “Not this” was a fairly typical reply!

Focus on the problem and I guarantee you will find an unending stream of them. Focus on the outcome, on what you do want and something different starts to happen, you start to notice opportunities that take you closer to what you want and notice things you can start to do to get there.

One way of doing this is by seeking out models of excellence in the world around me. Find out what it is that they do and try it out myself. Find out what the difference that makes the difference is and try that also.

Exercise – Problems vs. Outcomes

•  Groups of two
• Client – Think of a problem you’re facing in your life at the moment. 
• Coach asks the following questions (first set 1 and then set 2):

NLP life coach

If your looking for a NLP life coach to help wipe away your problems easily and effortlessly and be the person you want to be click the link below and soon you will have your personal transformation

>>>Get Life Coach London  

Life coaches in many ways are like cars you can get a cheap one or you can get a Ferrari. Richard Bandler & John Grinder were the two founders of NLP.  They developed NLP language patterns, to help coach people from problems to solutions very quickly. Quite often it is your limiting beliefs that are holding you back from success. This can be removed with NLP, and very soon your self esteem can be boosted!

I have listed some of the qualities of a NLP Practitioner Coach. Remember this is just the start of the journey for an excellent personal change expert or NLP coach.  Once the NLP coach is qualified as a NLP Practitioner, the NLP coach, can start to use the skills and practice his/her trade with NLP coaching. NLP coaching is about putting all the skills together to help the person remove their problems and get the solution that they need.  If you want to get personal one-one coaching.

To meet the requirements of obtaining a Practitioner Certificate in NLP, course participants will be required to show competence in the following areas;

Understanding and acting on the presuppositions of NLP

Achieving and maintaining conscious and unconscious rapport with groups and / or individuals

Understanding of the NLP communications model

The ability to effect content free change for others

The ability to elicit and use unconscious signals in self and others

Use of representation system predicates, and non-verbal information to pace and lead an individual emotional state

Calibrating non-verbal behaviour

The ability to anchor and self anchor different states

The ability to use the change history technique

Understanding and use of neurological levels

Use of New Code games

Elicitation and use of submodalities to alter an emotional state

Ability to conduct contrastive analysis and mapping across techniques

The ability to associate and dissociate from emotional states

The ability to resolve phobias

Understanding of modelling

Use of Swish techniques

The ability to create and / or recognise internal congruence

Understanding and use of the Meta Model

Resolution of internal and interpersonal conflict using reframing

Understanding and use of neurological levels

Understanding and use of time line techniques

Elicitation of outcomes that meet the well formedness conditions

Understanding of the concept of ecology and of using ecology checks

The ability to create a part that will be responsible for new behaviour, and to integrate parts

Understanding the difference between intention and behaviour

The ability to induce an hypnotic trance in others and to access a self trance

Understanding and use of the Milton Model

The ability to construct and alter metaphors to create personal change

The ability to understand and alter perceptual positions

 >>>Get Life Coach London  

NLP Life Coaching can it help with Self Esteem? 

Forget the law of attraction when it comes to boosting your self esteem it is about, your thinking, and the emotions that are trapped in your nervous system. If your feeling down, or lacking in self confidence , or perhaps suffer from panic attacks, NLP can transform your life by collapsing the negative charge in your bodies nervous system . Any feeling are programs that can be recoded altered and changed if you want to get your self esteem boosted now click the link below.

 >>>Yes I  Want To Boost My Self Esteem 

The Physiology of Excellence

This is my "depressed stance." When you're depressed, it makes a lot of difference how you stand. The worst thing you can do is straighten up and hold your head high because then you'll start to feel better. If you're going to get any joy out of being depressed, you've got to stand like this.

 Charlie Brown

 "It is madness to only prepare yourself physically and leave your mental frame to chance. The difference that makes the difference is learning how to feel strong in your mind as well as your body. Every athlete should understand that you don't have to have a gold medal around your neck to feel like you're a champion."

Roger Black

This was developed by John Grinder and is simplicity itself. It is also exceptionally powerful. In a nutshell, Grinder said that our behaviour (what we do and how well we do it) is inextricably linked with our mood and thinking, our posture and our breathing.

The fastest way to change our state is to change our breathing. So, if you re stressed, you're likely to be taking fast and shallow breaths. Change your breathing to deep and slow breaths! Then alter your posture. Posture and breathing are closely linked to how we feel. For example, it would be almost impossible to feel depressed when we are breathing calmly and standing upright with a huge smile across our face.

Then adopt a state you feel would be a useful one to have. For example, if I start to become nervous when I'm presenting, I move into deep breathing techniques, stand more upright and then ask myself the question "what would a better state be to be in?" If the answer is confidence, I fake it! I act "as if" I was confident. Strangely enough, a couple of minutes of doing all this and I notice that any nerves I did have are either totally disappeared or "at worst" lessened considerably.

Feelings are attached to many things, you can feel empowered if you change the programs.

 >>>NLP Coach To Boost My Self Esteem 

NLP Therapy

 If you don't like something change it; if you can't change it, change the way you think about it.

The emotional state and skill level of the therapist is critical in the success and application of the wonderful tools of Neuro Linguistic Programing.The tool of a pencil could create a master piece in the right hands.

 NLP Coaching

Have you ever seen a friend struggling? From a different perspective because you are not in the problem it seems obvious what to do? NLP coaching has many ways of helping you succeed.

Looking at the problem outside in the NLP coach can help the person like you with the problem, see the limiting beliefs, and then remove them. If the NLP coach finds out that there are unwanted thoughts, habits or feelings they can be wiped away.

If you want NLP coaching in london click the link below.

 >>>NLP Life Coach London 

A NLP Master Coach will be able to help you see the problem from many different ways or postitions. There are 3 common positions a NLP practitioner coach could use to help you.This is a useful way of opening up to new ways of thinking, great for life coaching and executive coaching.

First, Second and Third Positions in NLP

 "If there is any one secret to success, it lies in the ability to get the other person's point of view and see things from his angle as well as yours."

 Henry Ford

1st  position

The perceptual position of oneself. What one sees, hears, feels, tastes, smells; plus what one believes, one's capabilities, behaviors, etc.

2nd position

This is the perceptual position of an 'other'. It's the walking, seeing, hearing, feeling, thinking, believing, etc, being in another person's shoes. Another can be a person, an animal, vegetable or mineral. Another can be real, imagined or remembered, a character from a novel or movie, a supportive mentor or a critic, a future or ideal self, or any number of archetypal roles.

  3rd position

The perceptual position of an observer. An observer can be a fair witness, a scientist from another planet, a fly on the wall, or any uninvolved entity, real or imagined, with the ability to perceive in a disinterested and well intentioned way.   

4th position.

The perceptual position of the larger system or systems. The system can see all of the other positions at once, as a whole, and use all of the representation systems to perceive such things as relationships between other positions, effects on the system itself, and systems within systems to any level of magnitude, large or smal

Compelling Futures Exercise

Have you ever found that you want to do something but you are not totally motivated?

Are you sometimes so busy in the rat race that you don’t stop to see where you will be if you keep doing what your currently doing?

Have you ever taken a moment to see what you actually have in your relationships, your career or your life at home?

 Wherever you are right now this exercise can help you take a snap shot in your life.  Remembering that if you keep doing what you doing you are very likely to get the same results.  If the results are what you want this can exercise can help you finely tune it to make your life more esquit.  Alternatively you could discover that you want to make powerful changes in your life.

 Making your future compelling can boost your motivation in achieving it.  You can discover powerful learning’s, resources and information and the steps that you need to take before you start to take action.

 The steps are below if you would like a personal session to create your compelling future click the link below.

”The best way to predict your future is to create it.”

Erich Fromm

The purpose of this exercise is to create a compelling future to set a positive direction whilst recognizing that behaviours shape the outcomes in our lives.

>>> NLP Coach London 

Have client draw a timeline on the floor & from a clean 3^rd position

• Make a picture of the “You” that you are now.  See yourself at the appropriate spot on your timeline
• Go back 5 years on timeline – picture how you looked then
• How was that person physically?
• How was s/he relating to the significant people in their life?
• How was s/he intellectually – (thinking / using her/his mind?  What was s/he learning?)
• What were the major emotions in his/her life then? How were they typically being expressed?
• How much fun was s/he having?
• What were her/his hopes? How actively was s/he pursuing them?
• How satisfied was s/he with how her life was moving?  With how it related to the person s/he wanted to be?

Now … Just be aware of how all those things and a few others have helped you become the person that you now are <pause>

Point to the future – 5 years from now

• Notice what you’ll be like if you continue on your current path without changing (your relationships or yourself physically, intellectually, etc.)
• Notice what you’ll be like if you continue on your current path and it just keeps changing at the rate you’ve noticed to now
• Are you delighted with this future you?
• If you moved to the future as you are now – would you go forward without making any changes? Go on, dream a little! 

Juicing up the future (OFF the timeline)

• Looking at the “you” in the future, 5 years from now, you’ve the opportunity to create the “you” you really want to be – The IDEAL you.
• B assists A in modifying that future self until A has created the ideal self (the “you” that you’ve always wanted to be)
• Consider lifestyle, habits, relationships etc. What’s he doing differently? What are his hopes? etc. What decisions did s/he make that helped her/him here? How is s/he actively holding to these decisions in her/ his life?
• Identify and boost the driver submodalities. Juice it up!

Hypnotherapy NLP Coach 

If your looking for a coach to help you move forward in your life, it's a great idea if they are also an expert in hypnotherapy.

Have you ever felt a part of you wants x but another part doesn't?

For example I want to lose weight but I want to eat the cake.

I want to end the relationship but a part wants to stay.

The conflict could possibly be helped by this powerful intervention.

If your looking for  top NLP coach  in London they should be very familiar with this technique.

Parts integration

Internal conflicts occur when two or more "parts" of a person lead to behaviours which are contradictory. The most problematic conflicts occur when the opposing parts have negative judgments about each other.

The parts integration technique comes from the modelling of Fritz Perls – Gestalt therapy and Virginia Satir – Family therapy.

The following is a general overview of the basic NLP technique for integrating conflicting 'parts'.

1. Identify the conflict and identify the 'parts' in conflict.
Ask the subject to discuss the conflict as they see it, look and listen for the different parts in the conflict. It helps to see these as distinct arguments, e.g. a part which wants to express itself, versus a part which wants to control this.
 

2. Find the purpose and positive intent of each part.
Can I talk to the part of (person's name), who wants to e.g. express itself ?
What do you do for (person's name)? Acknowledge the positive intention, e.g. that it's a good thing to want for (person's name).
What would you like to be called? – e.g. expression – ensure it is stated in the positive, if not work to enable the part to state in the positive.
 

3. Talk to each part to express its perceptions of the other
What do you think of the part of (person's name) which wants to e.g. control? Understand the issues the part has. Work to help the part get the issues out so that they can be dealt with.
 

Carry out steps 2 and 3 for each part.

4. Make sure that each part recognises and accepts the positive intent of the other.
Ask each part, “Did you hear what the expression part does for (person s name)?”
Get the parts views on the positive intent and help them to recognise it. If necessary look for collaboration and joint intent for (person s name).
Use chunking up questions to get to a mutually collaborative place, e.g. “So if you have that (positive intent already stated by the part), what would that do for (person s name)?”
At this step it is sometimes useful to re-engage with the person, by asking “could I speak with(persons name)?” to ask them to review what they have heard and consider if there is any other parts, or if there is a collaborative joint intent they could offer. This could then be offered to the parts for discussion. Establish a common goal, e.g. to keep (person s name) safe.

5. Identify the resources and capabilities that each part has that would be helpful to the other part in order to accomplish its’ own positive intention and the common goal.
Look for ways in which the parts could collaborate
Ask each part – What would they like to happen differently? How could the conflict be resolved?
Offer the suggestions between the parts, using the parts language and checking to ensure movement. It is necessary at this stage to move between each part and keep rapport.
Ask the part what they heard, What they think about what they heard ?, filling in anything which they may not have heard which could be useful – sometimes they will have listen to all that is said, sometimes not a word.
If the part is holding anything which they heard as negative, or taken a slightly different perspective help them to find a way to make it work for them, or suggest alternatives. What would make this work for you? What other suggestions do you have?
Move between the parts, working towards a mutual solution for the conflict, working on the details of – How they will work together? What will each part bring and how they can get the best from each other towards the common goal.
 

6. Gain Agreement
Once you have reached a solution between the parts, gain the agreement of each part to the solution.
Get the part to describe the solution and you summarise and gain agreement.
Carry this out for each part.

7. Check Ecology
Ensure that there are no other parts which would want to input/comment on the solution. If there are other parts, discuss with the parts their input and as necessary work with the existing parts to bring the new part into the solution, re-gaining the agreement of all parts.
 

8. Physical Parts Integration (Optional, if appropriate / ecological to do so)
At this stage you could, if there were only two parts, bring them together and integrate back into self.
 

9. Future Pace (Optional)
Imagine what it is like to go into both your past and future, taking this integration with you and experiencing how it positively influences the events.
 

10. Check with Subject to ensure movement on the conflict
Ask the subject, How is that for you now?
Is there anything else that would be helpful to the situation?
You are checking for movement (which you should have already witnessed in the above steps) and to ensure that there is nothing else left in the background.
You can also at this stage embed some commands, suggesting that over the coming days and weeks the parts will be thinking about x ( something that they said they wanted to happen)