Values Discovered
August 1st, 2010
Values
"The purpose of life is not to be happy. It's to be useful, honorable, compassionate and to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well."
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Values are concepts for which people will make extraordinary efforts and provide the motive for behaviour. Deeply held values are often held unconsciously by people. Values include deeply held beliefs about what is right and wrong, good and bad, acceptable or unacceptable conduct, and about what is worth wanting, working for and making an effort to keep in life. They can be described as matters of conscience.
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Values exist in hierarchies of importance to their holders, and are represented in visual, auditory and kinaesthetic modalities like other thought forms. A hierarchy of values can be elicited and rearranged if the holder so wishes. Values can also be taken right out, and replaced with other values more in keeping with the holder's current identity. They are acquired through life exposure to experience, other people's models of the world (parents, peers, faith etc.) and sometimes reading.
The modal operators 'should' and 'ought', for example, indicate that the client is carrying a value they do not share. The modal operator implies that they would rather do something else, but someone else will be displeased if they do. Until this is drawn to their attention, they are liable to conform to the old value, incongruently, or do their own thing, incongruently, neither of which works.
When someone ignores or violates a value, they may feel sensations they could describe as either guilt or shame. Guilt is a response to violating someone else's value, and shame is a response to violating one's own. When someone discovers which value they have violated, they can find the value they hold which was important enough to outrank the violation. This discovery is often enough to neutralise shame or guilt; otherwise they can be useful pointers to further change.
To elicit values from someone, ask what is important to them about that situation or activity. To discover their complex equivalent for non-sensory based descriptions, ask them what their description means / represents to them. Then ask them to describe that in sensory based terms.
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